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Peeves the Poltergeist

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[10 August 1996 | 14:59 pm]
[ mood | malicious ]

The Patil Twins are back, and bring with them great news
Being the gossip I am, I could not, (would not) refuse
Some tasty new stories, told with much so much enthuse
Told by, not just one but, both of the twos!

The first, Miss Parvati, the entertaining young seer
Says she’s had visions of some happenings here
methinks she’s mostly a fraud, but she sounded sincere
when she said, one in our midst, might soon disappear.

Of course, I think, that might be a load
But she did have the sense, at least to forebode
So now I tell you, before I explode
Watch out for the danger, that threatens our abode

The second, Padma, was less eager to say
But she could not keep, her own demons at bay
So she broke down and told me, is complete dismay
She said, this, she did. I wouldn’t lead you astray

“Peeves,” she swooned. “I think I’m in love”
she sighed, and she moaned, and she cooed like a dove
“But, I really don’t think I can say, I’m ashamed of…
my own feelings, they’re horrid. But if push comes to shove…”

“I’ll have to say something, I can’t sit alone.
This thing, that I feel, it’s completely unknown
But I really can’t stand it, to be on my own
So I’m telling you this, because I could never atone…”

“If I wronged a friend, when I tell you this”
she leaned forward, and said, in a cold flat hiss
“I think I have feelings…for Dean Thomas!”
She said, she couldn’t live, if the feelings persist.

But now, I’ve done my task, I’ve done told you, I did.
Now, if anyone needs me, I’ll be having tea with the squid.


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[03 August 1996 | 00:00 am]
Ah, little children, come! Gather around
For I have a tale, that will make your heads pound
A story, I have, that’s sure to confound
A story, my children, of love lost, and love found.

For two nights ago, I cackled with glee
To see Harry Potter, and Miss Ginny Weasley
Sitting alone, down in Greenhouse Three
Enjoying the pleasure, of each other’s company

This is a very sad time, I really shouldn’t gloat
But I’m sworn to a poltergeist code, to quote
Just what I see, while I happen to float
Above Ginny Weasley, as she tries on his coat

They talked late at night and he touched her arm
Knowing full well, she could not refuse his great charm
And of course, as was thought, she raised no alarm
When he looked at her and began to disarm…

Her lips with his, she spoke not a word
And as he pulled away, she gently slurred
“leaving…?” she asked, a little deterred
he mumbled “if I’m smart” (for that’s what I heard.)

he cursed himself quietly, for what he had done
kissed her, he did, but he meant to hurt none
he walked her towards the tower, as he came undone
for he realized the chaos, that he’d just begun

Neither slept well, on that night, I am told
For I’m sure in the night, Weasley’s blood did run cold
As she realized just what did unfold
That night in the greenhouse, a sight to behold

The next day she stayed abed, not wanting to wake
Knowing full well, the night before, was a mistake
And spent the whole day, trying to fake
As if she could outrun, her dreaded heartache

In the end, she did tell him, without much to do
For when she said nothing, Dean took the cue
And realized last night, she hadn’t been true
And that, my dear friends, is when things went askew.

First, he left crying, and went to the hall
There is saw Harry, his back to the wall
And I’m afraid, Thomas lost it, as I seem to recall
What ensued, my lovelies, was a horrific brawl

Though, Harry refused to hit, not even, just once
Dean did not have, such attemperance
He came at a run, through the hall door
He shouted some, a huge, giant roar…

“I love her!” he screamed, “can’t you understand that?!”
and with that he started, a magnificent combat
and Harry, for his part, I must say, did not bat
not a single eyelash, when Dean’s fist hit him flat…

back down towards the ground, as Dean stood above
Then Thomas turned, and left, without one more shove
And Harry pursued, as if he planned to talk of
How Ginny was not his lady love

But, as a bystander, I can’t help but think
That all mentioned above, deserve some strong drink
For their conflicts, they might be forced to rethink
Before they move, towards a now, quite close brink

However, this is truth, I don’t deal in lies
This I did see, with my two little eyes
Yes, dear Peevesie, observed the demise
And I have nothing to do but sensationalize
For I have no time, nor the heart to advise
These three ickle children, before the relationship dies.
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